Went shopping yesterday between snow squalls - City of Orillia did itself proud with excellent snow removal on both roads and sidewalks. Well done. Thank you.
So as I started out writing - here was my list:
500 gm beef ( in 2-cm cubes, yah, sure!)
xyz gm minced pork
1 teaspoon ground black pepper ("She had lots of 'pepper' - and a good shaker, too.")
1 1/3 medium or 1 large onion, chopped - yes, but no tears came to my eyes
1 clove garlic, chopped - went for mixed herbs, and garlic salt
1 tablespoon chili powder - believe it!
It was Kim's present to me: "CHILI FOOD" HABANERO SAVINA PULVER!
- as in gun powder plot.
2 Chili peppers saw several the shop but they weren't as hot as what I already had and so I deleted them.
1 tablespoon chopped parsley - a jar is in the photo
83 gm tomato paste
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
796ml canned tomatoes, diced not drained
Oh and corn niblets and kidney beans - both drained
The parsley was eventually deleted on "advice" from a higher authority. The grater was for the Baker's dark chocolate. I still find it hard to believe how this influences the final taste. Wonderful.
Brown beef in fat. Remove from pan and set aside
Brown pork and onion in the same pan.
Add Worcestershire sauce, garlic, parsley and mix.
Add beer - and what I didn't add to the chili I added to me
Add rest of ingredients, mix and simmer for about 2 hours. This is important.
And I actually let stand for several hours before putting in 3 containers especially delivered from Maike and Rory. One went into the freezer. The other 2 went outside in the snow for use this weekend and next. It is best to make chili the day before - so yesterday for today - to get the most flavour. I had some of the chili for lunch in wraps in which I spread some peanut butter, added fresh cucumber and a dollop of yoghurt. Messy but delicious. Thanks Kim for that little jar of "pulver". That
has taken me months to get the feeling for the "right amount".
Post script: I nuck the bare wrap for 30 seconds before spreading the peanut butter and other ingredients. I put that in a large bowl while the next wrap covers the bowl. It gets nucked too for 30 sec, gets filled and then returned to the bowl where both filled wraps get a 2 minute nucking. This is in part because the chili was frozen overnight on the balcony. Now each wrap is hot inside and out.
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The reason why:
Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:
Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off,
because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be
standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the
other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have
free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy Shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff.
I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.
CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of
two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre.
They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows
the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced.
CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing
behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.
CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics.
The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from
bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to
stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! !
CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand
behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
JUDGE ON: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment.
I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.
FRANK: You could puta #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a d@&$ thing.
I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili,
which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt.
At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful.
I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE
TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot.
Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out,
fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.
FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report).